Argus Apocraphex: Gift for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
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Jan. 1st, 2011 08:16 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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bandomstuffsitTitle: Argus Apocraphex
Author:dandy_fetish
Pairing(s): Past Gerard Way/Jared Leto, Implied Gerard Way/Mikey Way, mentions of Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta
Rating: R
Warnings: Language and incestuous content.
Word count: 2,066
Summary: Mikey sipped his drink again and thought for a second. “You know, I cannot think of many people who would agree to keep an ex-fling safe while they tripped on sex and chaos magick.”
“Thanks again for this,” Jared said, repositioning one of the pillows on his bed.
“It’s no problem,” Gerard assured him from his seat by the window. “I’d rather you have somebody here.”
Jared turned to look at him again, blue eyes already looking a little trance-hazed. “And if it’s gonna be anyone here, I want it to be you.” He crossed to where Gerard was sitting and planted a kiss on his forehead.
“You’re already half out of it,” Gerard said, lightly.
“Nah.” Jared smiled, but he knew it was true. He’d been feeling it since Gerard arrived, since they started prepping the room. At least this time he’d managed to get all of the candles lit before anything took hold.
“Lay down,” Gerard instructed calmly, and Jared listened, spreading himself out on the bed. Gerard picked up the bowl filled with what looked like black paint from the bedside and the soft paintbrush beside it. Slowly, artistically, he painted Jared’s symbol on his chest, the triangle he displayed pretty much everywhere else, the one his fans wore without really knowing with it meant.
Jared’s eyes were blown wide open, and Gerard knew that he was already pretty much fully under. “Be safe,” Gerard said, bending over to return the earlier kiss to Jared’s forehead.
The result was instantaneous. Jared’s body seized up and his still-wide eyes went completely blank, staring at the ceiling as his chest heaved up and down. He convulsed, muscles tightening as he struggled against something unseen, his lips pulled back in a feral snarl. He let out a roar, sounding somewhere between triumph and pain.
And then, just as quickly as the fit had started, it stopped. Jared went limp, his eyes fell closed and he let out a deep, relaxed breath. Gerard watched him for a few more minutes, out of habit more than concern, and then sighed and retrieved his cell phone.
His text to Mikey said only “at j’s nyc space. trance shit. bring coffee.”
Half an hour later, Gerard was curled up in a chair and reading through a book he’d grabbed off of Jared’s shelves. He was only half-interested; most of it was stuff he already knew from Jared’s late-night rantings and the rest was almost unintelligible.
The knock at the door startled him a bit. He looked at Jared for a second before going to answer the door, but he was still passed out on the bed, bleached hair matted to his head, breathing evenly. So Gerard stood, stretched a little, and answered the door.
Outside the door, Mikey smirked at him and handed him one of the Starbucks cups he was clutching. “Here. You draw on his face yet?”
Gerard laughed and motioned his brother into the room. “I promised him I wouldn’t do that again.” He took a quick sip of his drink.
Mikey shook his head, sadly. “Damn, that moustache looked really good on him.”
“I thought so,” Gerard shrugged. “But I was more proud of the job I did on that monocle.”
“Yeah, he looked fucking dapper that night,” Mikey agreed, walking towards the bed. “So, what’s he doing tonight?”
“I don’t fucking know,” Gerard confessed. “More of that argus apocraphex vision-questing shit, I think. I just hate when he does this by himself.”
“He knows what he’s doing,” Mikey argued. He shook a little bit of hair out of his eyes. “I mean, most of the time.”
“He’s good at acting like that,” Gerard said. “But the shit he’s into? You can never be too careful.”
Mikey sipped his drink again and thought for a second. “You know, I cannot think of many people who would agree to keep an ex-fling safe while they tripped on sex and chaos magick.”
“What can I say?” Gerard sighed. “I’m just that kind of guy.” He took a long sip of his coffee.
Mikey stepped away from the bed and rejoined his brother. “I’m just saying, I don’t know that I’d do it.”
Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Not even for Gabe?”
Mikey shook his head. “Oh no. I fucking love Gabe, dude, but I refuse to get involved with his shit. Did that once. Never again.”
“It didn’t sound too bad when you told me about it!” Gerard said.
“It was something you have to experience to truly understand the trauma,” Mikey argued.
Gerard thought for a second. “So you’re saying I should call him and…”
“No,” Mikey interrupted. “I would never fucking say that. Don’t ever claim I did.”
It was a few hours later when Gerard heard Jared start to whimper. Mikey watched as his brother stood up and walked to the bed, a worried look on his face.
“Is he okay?” Mikey whispered.
Gerard held up his hand in a “Stop, wait,” motion, and bent over Jared’s prone form. He placed his hand on Jared’s forehead, watching him wince a little in pain. Gerard swallowed hard, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
Suddenly, he convulsed forward, falling onto the bed and shaking.
Mikey jumped up, running over to Gerard and grabbing him by his shoulders. “Gerard?” he asked, shaking him a little. “Gerard?!”
Gerard went limp, his breathing evened out, his eyes closed.
“Shit,” Mikey muttered, rolling his brother onto the bed. “SHIT.”
It’s not real, Gerard thought. He knew that, while he felt like he was laying on the sidewalk outside Jared’s apartment, cold cement pressed to his cheek, he was just in Jared’s dream.
But the key was to keep reminding himself of that.
He forced himself to stand up, looking around the recreation of the city that Jared had created in his mind. “I shouldn’t be here,” Gerard whispered. “This is really fucking bad.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Gerard jumped, shocked by the sound of his own voice, coming from behind him. He spun around, eyes wide, and found…himself.
“Yeah, it’s you.” The other Gerard smiled, a hint of danger to the action.
“This isn’t real,” Gerard repeated. “This is just a dream. You’re just a dream.”
“Or maybe you’re just a dream,” the other Gerard countered. “Did you ever think of that?”
“We’ve done this before,” Gerard said. “In the hotel.”
“Yeah,” the other Gerard said, tilting his head thoughtfully. “But I guess we didn’t really finish, did we?”
Gerard swallowed, hard. “I need to wake up,” he said.
“No,” the other Gerard said. “You need to face the shit you ran away from last time.”
“I didn’t fucking run!” Gerard countered. “I was only there to get Jared out of his own head!”
“But you did fucking run.” The other Gerard’s smile was obviously predatory now. “The second I opened that hotel room door and showed you what was inside, you fucking ran.”
“STOP!” Gerard turned away.
Only to find himself back in the hotel hallway.
He could feel his heart beating like a kickdrum as he turned his head, seeing the nearest door was cracked open, just slightly.
“Go ahead and look,” the dream Gerard teased. “You’re not waking up until you do.”
“I know what’s in there,” Gerard said, his voice shaky. “And I don’t want to see it.”
“Oh, you know what’s in there?” his other self asked. “Well, then, why don’t you tell me what’s in there?”
“Me and Jared,” Gerard said. “It’s a regret.”
“Regret?” his doppelganger let out a short laugh. “Really? That’s…that’s what you think?”
“Yeah,” Gerard said. “I couldn’t stay with him. I couldn’t handle the type of magick he was into. I couldn’t stand that much intensity all the fucking time. It’s never been a kink for me. It’s part of who I am,” he took a deep breath.
“But you’re afraid of it,” the other Gerard said. “Just like you’re afraid of your kinks.”
“SHUT UP!” Gerard ordered.
The other Gerard pouted a bit. “What, you really don’t want me to just spell it all out for you? Growing up, you didn’t have any problem with your magick. You fucking loved it. But then, well, we both know what happened.”
Gerard felt his throat tighten and his fists clench.
His duplicate shrugged. “Ever since that day you realized you accidentally used magick to make someone fall in lust with you, you’ve been terrified of it. So you have repressed it.”
Gerard put his hands over his ears, shaking his head.
“But your magic is part of who you are,” the other Gerard continued. “And so are your kinks. Your desires. And the second you figure that out, the moment you accept it, you’ll be stronger for it.”
Gerard grit his teeth. “I don’t need to see it. I WON’T see it.”
Dream Gerard sighed, heavily, and looked down at his nails, feigning boredom. “Well, then we’re not going anywhere for awhile, are we?”
“I fucking hate this,” Gerard announced. “I didn’t ask to get sucked into repressed desire soul searching bullshit.”
“Then why are you doing this?” his other self asked. “Why would you agree to help?” He leaned in close to Gerard, whispering, “Why did you love when Jared would push your limits? Maybe because he wasn’t afraid of his magick or his kinks?”
The dream Gerard laughed, cruelly. “Or because, despite your protests, you wanted him to teach you how to make them one and the same?”
Gerard pulled away from himself.
“But then you got scared,” the other Gerard taunted. “You got scared because, oh no, doing that meant having to face who you really are. And maybe there was something to Jared’s ‘argus apocraphex vision-questing shit’ after all. So, you did what you do best: you ran away. You broke up with him, and you ran away.”
“Stop,” Gerard said, choked. “Just…fucking stop.”
The other Gerard pointed to the hotel room door. “It’ll all stop once you open that door.”
Gerard swallowed, stepping forward tentatively and wrapping his hand around the cold doorknob. “I…” he started.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” the other Gerard reminded him. “I already know.”
Gerard pushed the door open, holding his breath as he did, his stomach tensing as he entered the room.
Mikey was sitting on the bed.
Gerard stopped, short, feeling his knees start to shake. “Mikey?” he asked.
The other Gerard pushed past him. “Yes,” he said. “Mikey.”
“But why…” Gerard shook his head. “Why is he…”
“Because,” dream Gerard said. “Because you hate that you want this.” He bent down, pressing his lips to Mikey’s and stroking his hand against his brother’s cheek.
Gerard took a step back, almost choking as he did.
The other Gerard looked up at him, that cruel smirk still on his face. “Now,” he said. “Do you still want to wake up?”
Gerard gasped and opened his eyes.
Mikey was bent down over him, his expression pure worry. “Gee?” he asked, softly.
Gerard winced a little, the image he’d just seen still fresh in his mind. “Yeah,” he said.
“Is…is everything okay?” Mikey asked. “You passed out and I had no fucking clue…”
“I’m fine,” Gerard assured him. “And I’m pretty sure Jared is, too.” He sat up and looked over at Jared, who was once again resting peacefully. “Oh, good.”
“Yeah, he stopped freaking right after you went in,” Mikey said. “Did you help him or something?”
“No,” Gerard said. “I’m not entirely sure what happened.”
Mikey impulsively leaned in to hug him. “Whatever. You’re safe.”
Gerard started to pull away, but instead just hugged back. “Yeah. Safe.”
The first rays of sunlight were streaming into the room when Jared suddenly sat up, gasping hard. “Holy shit,” he announced.
“See what you needed to see?” Gerard asked.
“Fuck yeah,” Jared said, a smile on his face. “That was fucking intense.”
“Yeah, you freaked out a little,” Gerard said. “We were worried.”
Jared lay back down, taking a deep breath. “It was freaky. But in a really fucking good way,” he said. Then, after a beat, “You guys didn’t draw on my face again, did you?”
“No,” Gerard promised. “Mikey left a few hours ago. And now, I’m going to go get some fucking sleep.” He stood up and grabbed for his jacket.
“Yeah,” Jared said, rubbing at his face. “And thanks again. Dreaming like that is always worth it.”
“If you say so,” Gerard said, pulling on his jacket. “Take care of yourself.”
He left without another word.
Author:
dandy_fetishPairing(s): Past Gerard Way/Jared Leto, Implied Gerard Way/Mikey Way, mentions of Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta
Rating: R
Warnings: Language and incestuous content.
Word count: 2,066
Summary: Mikey sipped his drink again and thought for a second. “You know, I cannot think of many people who would agree to keep an ex-fling safe while they tripped on sex and chaos magick.”
“Thanks again for this,” Jared said, repositioning one of the pillows on his bed.
“It’s no problem,” Gerard assured him from his seat by the window. “I’d rather you have somebody here.”
Jared turned to look at him again, blue eyes already looking a little trance-hazed. “And if it’s gonna be anyone here, I want it to be you.” He crossed to where Gerard was sitting and planted a kiss on his forehead.
“You’re already half out of it,” Gerard said, lightly.
“Nah.” Jared smiled, but he knew it was true. He’d been feeling it since Gerard arrived, since they started prepping the room. At least this time he’d managed to get all of the candles lit before anything took hold.
“Lay down,” Gerard instructed calmly, and Jared listened, spreading himself out on the bed. Gerard picked up the bowl filled with what looked like black paint from the bedside and the soft paintbrush beside it. Slowly, artistically, he painted Jared’s symbol on his chest, the triangle he displayed pretty much everywhere else, the one his fans wore without really knowing with it meant.
Jared’s eyes were blown wide open, and Gerard knew that he was already pretty much fully under. “Be safe,” Gerard said, bending over to return the earlier kiss to Jared’s forehead.
The result was instantaneous. Jared’s body seized up and his still-wide eyes went completely blank, staring at the ceiling as his chest heaved up and down. He convulsed, muscles tightening as he struggled against something unseen, his lips pulled back in a feral snarl. He let out a roar, sounding somewhere between triumph and pain.
And then, just as quickly as the fit had started, it stopped. Jared went limp, his eyes fell closed and he let out a deep, relaxed breath. Gerard watched him for a few more minutes, out of habit more than concern, and then sighed and retrieved his cell phone.
His text to Mikey said only “at j’s nyc space. trance shit. bring coffee.”
Half an hour later, Gerard was curled up in a chair and reading through a book he’d grabbed off of Jared’s shelves. He was only half-interested; most of it was stuff he already knew from Jared’s late-night rantings and the rest was almost unintelligible.
The knock at the door startled him a bit. He looked at Jared for a second before going to answer the door, but he was still passed out on the bed, bleached hair matted to his head, breathing evenly. So Gerard stood, stretched a little, and answered the door.
Outside the door, Mikey smirked at him and handed him one of the Starbucks cups he was clutching. “Here. You draw on his face yet?”
Gerard laughed and motioned his brother into the room. “I promised him I wouldn’t do that again.” He took a quick sip of his drink.
Mikey shook his head, sadly. “Damn, that moustache looked really good on him.”
“I thought so,” Gerard shrugged. “But I was more proud of the job I did on that monocle.”
“Yeah, he looked fucking dapper that night,” Mikey agreed, walking towards the bed. “So, what’s he doing tonight?”
“I don’t fucking know,” Gerard confessed. “More of that argus apocraphex vision-questing shit, I think. I just hate when he does this by himself.”
“He knows what he’s doing,” Mikey argued. He shook a little bit of hair out of his eyes. “I mean, most of the time.”
“He’s good at acting like that,” Gerard said. “But the shit he’s into? You can never be too careful.”
Mikey sipped his drink again and thought for a second. “You know, I cannot think of many people who would agree to keep an ex-fling safe while they tripped on sex and chaos magick.”
“What can I say?” Gerard sighed. “I’m just that kind of guy.” He took a long sip of his coffee.
Mikey stepped away from the bed and rejoined his brother. “I’m just saying, I don’t know that I’d do it.”
Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Not even for Gabe?”
Mikey shook his head. “Oh no. I fucking love Gabe, dude, but I refuse to get involved with his shit. Did that once. Never again.”
“It didn’t sound too bad when you told me about it!” Gerard said.
“It was something you have to experience to truly understand the trauma,” Mikey argued.
Gerard thought for a second. “So you’re saying I should call him and…”
“No,” Mikey interrupted. “I would never fucking say that. Don’t ever claim I did.”
It was a few hours later when Gerard heard Jared start to whimper. Mikey watched as his brother stood up and walked to the bed, a worried look on his face.
“Is he okay?” Mikey whispered.
Gerard held up his hand in a “Stop, wait,” motion, and bent over Jared’s prone form. He placed his hand on Jared’s forehead, watching him wince a little in pain. Gerard swallowed hard, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
Suddenly, he convulsed forward, falling onto the bed and shaking.
Mikey jumped up, running over to Gerard and grabbing him by his shoulders. “Gerard?” he asked, shaking him a little. “Gerard?!”
Gerard went limp, his breathing evened out, his eyes closed.
“Shit,” Mikey muttered, rolling his brother onto the bed. “SHIT.”
It’s not real, Gerard thought. He knew that, while he felt like he was laying on the sidewalk outside Jared’s apartment, cold cement pressed to his cheek, he was just in Jared’s dream.
But the key was to keep reminding himself of that.
He forced himself to stand up, looking around the recreation of the city that Jared had created in his mind. “I shouldn’t be here,” Gerard whispered. “This is really fucking bad.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Gerard jumped, shocked by the sound of his own voice, coming from behind him. He spun around, eyes wide, and found…himself.
“Yeah, it’s you.” The other Gerard smiled, a hint of danger to the action.
“This isn’t real,” Gerard repeated. “This is just a dream. You’re just a dream.”
“Or maybe you’re just a dream,” the other Gerard countered. “Did you ever think of that?”
“We’ve done this before,” Gerard said. “In the hotel.”
“Yeah,” the other Gerard said, tilting his head thoughtfully. “But I guess we didn’t really finish, did we?”
Gerard swallowed, hard. “I need to wake up,” he said.
“No,” the other Gerard said. “You need to face the shit you ran away from last time.”
“I didn’t fucking run!” Gerard countered. “I was only there to get Jared out of his own head!”
“But you did fucking run.” The other Gerard’s smile was obviously predatory now. “The second I opened that hotel room door and showed you what was inside, you fucking ran.”
“STOP!” Gerard turned away.
Only to find himself back in the hotel hallway.
He could feel his heart beating like a kickdrum as he turned his head, seeing the nearest door was cracked open, just slightly.
“Go ahead and look,” the dream Gerard teased. “You’re not waking up until you do.”
“I know what’s in there,” Gerard said, his voice shaky. “And I don’t want to see it.”
“Oh, you know what’s in there?” his other self asked. “Well, then, why don’t you tell me what’s in there?”
“Me and Jared,” Gerard said. “It’s a regret.”
“Regret?” his doppelganger let out a short laugh. “Really? That’s…that’s what you think?”
“Yeah,” Gerard said. “I couldn’t stay with him. I couldn’t handle the type of magick he was into. I couldn’t stand that much intensity all the fucking time. It’s never been a kink for me. It’s part of who I am,” he took a deep breath.
“But you’re afraid of it,” the other Gerard said. “Just like you’re afraid of your kinks.”
“SHUT UP!” Gerard ordered.
The other Gerard pouted a bit. “What, you really don’t want me to just spell it all out for you? Growing up, you didn’t have any problem with your magick. You fucking loved it. But then, well, we both know what happened.”
Gerard felt his throat tighten and his fists clench.
His duplicate shrugged. “Ever since that day you realized you accidentally used magick to make someone fall in lust with you, you’ve been terrified of it. So you have repressed it.”
Gerard put his hands over his ears, shaking his head.
“But your magic is part of who you are,” the other Gerard continued. “And so are your kinks. Your desires. And the second you figure that out, the moment you accept it, you’ll be stronger for it.”
Gerard grit his teeth. “I don’t need to see it. I WON’T see it.”
Dream Gerard sighed, heavily, and looked down at his nails, feigning boredom. “Well, then we’re not going anywhere for awhile, are we?”
“I fucking hate this,” Gerard announced. “I didn’t ask to get sucked into repressed desire soul searching bullshit.”
“Then why are you doing this?” his other self asked. “Why would you agree to help?” He leaned in close to Gerard, whispering, “Why did you love when Jared would push your limits? Maybe because he wasn’t afraid of his magick or his kinks?”
The dream Gerard laughed, cruelly. “Or because, despite your protests, you wanted him to teach you how to make them one and the same?”
Gerard pulled away from himself.
“But then you got scared,” the other Gerard taunted. “You got scared because, oh no, doing that meant having to face who you really are. And maybe there was something to Jared’s ‘argus apocraphex vision-questing shit’ after all. So, you did what you do best: you ran away. You broke up with him, and you ran away.”
“Stop,” Gerard said, choked. “Just…fucking stop.”
The other Gerard pointed to the hotel room door. “It’ll all stop once you open that door.”
Gerard swallowed, stepping forward tentatively and wrapping his hand around the cold doorknob. “I…” he started.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” the other Gerard reminded him. “I already know.”
Gerard pushed the door open, holding his breath as he did, his stomach tensing as he entered the room.
Mikey was sitting on the bed.
Gerard stopped, short, feeling his knees start to shake. “Mikey?” he asked.
The other Gerard pushed past him. “Yes,” he said. “Mikey.”
“But why…” Gerard shook his head. “Why is he…”
“Because,” dream Gerard said. “Because you hate that you want this.” He bent down, pressing his lips to Mikey’s and stroking his hand against his brother’s cheek.
Gerard took a step back, almost choking as he did.
The other Gerard looked up at him, that cruel smirk still on his face. “Now,” he said. “Do you still want to wake up?”
Gerard gasped and opened his eyes.
Mikey was bent down over him, his expression pure worry. “Gee?” he asked, softly.
Gerard winced a little, the image he’d just seen still fresh in his mind. “Yeah,” he said.
“Is…is everything okay?” Mikey asked. “You passed out and I had no fucking clue…”
“I’m fine,” Gerard assured him. “And I’m pretty sure Jared is, too.” He sat up and looked over at Jared, who was once again resting peacefully. “Oh, good.”
“Yeah, he stopped freaking right after you went in,” Mikey said. “Did you help him or something?”
“No,” Gerard said. “I’m not entirely sure what happened.”
Mikey impulsively leaned in to hug him. “Whatever. You’re safe.”
Gerard started to pull away, but instead just hugged back. “Yeah. Safe.”
The first rays of sunlight were streaming into the room when Jared suddenly sat up, gasping hard. “Holy shit,” he announced.
“See what you needed to see?” Gerard asked.
“Fuck yeah,” Jared said, a smile on his face. “That was fucking intense.”
“Yeah, you freaked out a little,” Gerard said. “We were worried.”
Jared lay back down, taking a deep breath. “It was freaky. But in a really fucking good way,” he said. Then, after a beat, “You guys didn’t draw on my face again, did you?”
“No,” Gerard promised. “Mikey left a few hours ago. And now, I’m going to go get some fucking sleep.” He stood up and grabbed for his jacket.
“Yeah,” Jared said, rubbing at his face. “And thanks again. Dreaming like that is always worth it.”
“If you say so,” Gerard said, pulling on his jacket. “Take care of yourself.”
He left without another word.
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no subject
Date: 2011-01-02 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-02 11:38 am (UTC)I would love a sequel or a prequel! I can see Gerard and Jared meeting for the first time, messing around with magic, Jared showing Gerard all kinds of things and Gerard freaking out and everything going to hell. I would love to read about it!
Also: Gabe. Gabe would totally be into some snake poison stuff...at least in my head.
Resolving everything in a Ways/Jared threesome would be the cheery, but I'm taking everything as long as you'll continue this. The verse you created here is just too good to waste.
Thank you so much! <3
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 04:48 am (UTC)